First Press – Dorset Star Cider, Dorchester

“The Essence of Anne Robinson “

TL;DR(Too long didn’t read) – Punchy, good-looking but an acquired taste (Like Jack)

Dan’s Thoughts

Ding Ding Ding! “ROUND 1 – FIGHT!” The ref shouts. Instant KO.

The first sip, of First Press, knocked me for six. This cider has more PUNCH than Conor Mcgregor.

I always try to remind people that our reviews are subjective. People like different flavours. Unfortunately for First Press, I didn’t enjoy it.
I drank it all…never waste, but it wasn’t for me.

You know the popular childhood “Word association game”? Well, Jack and I decided to play that for our first half pint. “First word that comes to your head, go!”

“Ronsil” flies out of my cat-arsehole looking clenched lips. I could varnish my garden fence (if I had one) with this cider.
This concoction was most likely created for Bear Grylls only. Made for men that can stomach their own bladder juice.

If you were to harvest Anne Robinson for her tears, it’s almost scientifically certain that she will bleed this essence out of her eyes – that and maybe a bit of dust.

Of course, this is all exaggerated for “comedy” and we commend any cider maker for their efforts. We know there will be someone out there who will enjoy it and we hope that people do! On this occasion, neither of us did.

It’s a GOOD LOOKING CIDER though! In fairness, there’s a nice-ish middle to it too, but you’re then greeted with bizarre wheaty, bran flake-like end. It’s a cereal experience – this is why I inverted comma’d the word comedy earlier.

Normally you wouldn’t recommend bad experiences , but on this occasion, I think I would!
It’s certainly an experience and we had a sense of accomplishment after getting it down us.

You can try this cider at The Stable in Southampton.

Cheers.

Dan